I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
