i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
