I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
did i just pee glitter
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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