**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
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