Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
