Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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