God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
