i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
