shes about as inviting as chlamydia
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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