We got so high we made milksteak
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
