hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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