lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
