If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
We just shotgunned beers for America
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
