Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
