We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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