New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
