the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
