yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Randomize
