I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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