i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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