I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
