Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
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