Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Your dad touched me again.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
