So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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