Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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