No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
