sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
