Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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