Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize