You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
