You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
