am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
