So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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