was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
