I'd wear matching sweaters with you
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize