i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
In America we eat man semen.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
