evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize
