i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Randomize
