they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
