is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
