Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
