Pappa wants mamma naked
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize