marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
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