On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
