Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
