@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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