Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
