and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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