and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize