I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
