What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
