Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
