I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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