they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize