Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
