I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I just googled if crying burns calories
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
