ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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