Im at strip club and am horny
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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