I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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