Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
i came on her dog
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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