I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
