the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
