he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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