just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
