it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
