'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
