He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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