he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
