what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
bring money and cleavage
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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