i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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