Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
