Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
