Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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